At a recent inspection I came across something that so defied logic that I decided to run one of my little contests to see who can come up with the most "creative" explanation as to how it got to be this way.
I am not sure that this qualifies as a "true contest" as there is no prize other than that good feeling that comes over you when you know that you have been "chosen." Perhaps that is the best kind of prize anyway----and the only one that really counts----even when some physical prize is given.
The person (or "alter ego") that can come up with most creative explanation of how this installation got to be the way it is will win the "I-feel-so-good-inside" prize. If you actually KNOW what the truth of it is, you automatically get to be my second Certiflied Home Inspection Assistant and will rank right under Raven DeCroe. Now that will be something to crow about.
So----EXPLAIN THIS:
I am happy to field all questions; and, you may enter as many times as you like. The only requirements are that all explanations must be "off the wall" (as I am sure the real explanation is), and they must be at least 50 words in length (I am expecting a LOT from Kara, Barbara, and all of you Cheryls).
It goes without saying that I am expecting all inspectors and family members to give it their best shot.
Charles Buell
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My WORDLESS WEDNESDAY pictures and some selected POEMS & STORIES.
Charlie,
So that is cut in a popcorn ceiling? Are the slits in there for AC (looks like one of those old two-prong screw in plugs for converting a light socket to a receptacle) or is it just a plug that blocks something?
Shazam, it looks like someone was trying to cover up the electrical socket to prevent someone or something from being electricuted, but that was before Stevens comment about "popcorn ceiling". At first I was thinking this was on the exterior of a stucco wall, but I guess not.
My second guess would be that bugs (bees, wasps or other critters) have gotten into the ceiling and to prevent them from getting into the home, they put this screen over the hole. Maybe they have bats also.
Sean Allen
PS: it is still a bit early for me this morning. When I thought it was a stucco wall, my own first thought was ... "How did they get those push pins to go into the wall".
I have no idea buy want to know, so I will be waiting to hear.
Steve, yes---popcorn ceiling. The slits are a screw in plug adapter.
Sean, nice trys:)
Again----everyone---I am clueless----I am looking for "creative":)
Got me, but if here are a few guesses:
1. The husband ran the bedroom fan on cold just one too many nights and mamma had enough. The fan's gone and this is want's left.
2. The 'Ittsy Bittsy spider went up the water spout for the last time.....so this is to keep his ancestors out.
3. This is what happens when a committee trys to fix something.
4. Since we keep hearing we must share the wealth and other things, too. This is what happens when a brillant individual averages their intelligence with a moran.
Sandy---me to:)
Donna, that is better:)
Charles, we are so surprised that you didn't know this one. This is the poor man's version of decorating and the beginning of creating a tin ceiling design.
This is a screen-top ceiling, which is similar to a glass-bottom boat but it allows you to watch the vermin scurry by while having supper.
They have put push pins in to keep the paint out so it must be some plug in that they didn't want to get paint in. That one was JUST TOO EASY!
Patty----dang----you just might be right
Steve H, I like it, I like it:)
I had a couple ideas:
Because the homeowner's wife is tired of taking him to the emergency room with burned fingers, she put up a barrier to keep him from putting paperclips in the outlet to "check to see if the power is on".
The screen was out up to keep the evil spirits INSIDE the room and not let them escape into the gap in the ceiling.
Keep birds from getting into the ceiling cavity.
Barbara, can you clarify "exactly" what the push pins function is? I was thinking more along the lines of Stonehenge:)
Jack---perhaps one too many lost parakeet? On the paper clip theory---wouldn't there have been urine stains on the carpet?:)
Charlie - Is that an electric outlet in the popcorn ceiling? Every year I need another outlet to plug in the star on the Christmas tree. This would be perfect because then I wouldn't need an extension cord! Then I could remove those thumbtacks and use them to hang the stockings...by the chimney - with glee!
Well, the Thai Basket used to hang from a hook in the ceiling, and it had a motor attached to it, y'see. The motor would allow the basket to spin around, 'cause ya know, that's what those there Thai baskets are for.
Well, BettySue has put on a little weight, over the years, and the last time she used the basket, the hook pulled out of the ceiling (cause yaknow it was never intended to hold anything the weight of a moose), and she collapsed, basket an' all, right there on toppa Bubba, (her Jealous Husband's brother).
Well, BettySue and Bubba were rightly skeered that when BillyBob came home, he'd be a bit suspicious, since the basket had fallen, and now there was a big hole in the ceilin', so they made up this story about a city inspektor coming by... you betcha. They told BillyBob, that the inspektor made them take down the basket, and just for safety purposes, they had to cover the hole with some high grade mesh, (which should help keep the critters up in the attic)... and use a minimum of 14 screws to hold it in place.
Bubba din't have no screws, but he had a pocket full of green pushpins (which he always carried, in case of emergency, along with a roll of silver duct tape), so they used those instead. BettySue knew full-well, that Bubba wern't stoopid enough to think that an inspektor would allow them to use pushpins, so she spray-painted them the same color as the ceiling, and told Bubba they were special 'electrical pushpins', and irr-removable.
Bubba and BettySue will be celebrating their 3rd anniversary this December. (BettySue is going "all-out" for this anniversary, and is gonna buy Bubba a tooth. She's realy hoping he offers to share it!).
Carol, I was going to move you to the top of the "Feel good inside" pile but then Alan posted his comment and you were unfortunately immediately displaced:)
Alan, consider yourself on top of the pile so far:)
If two or more commenters agree---anyone I place on top of the "feel good inside" pile can be "unseated" and replaced with whoever they think should be there----I am feeling in a democratic mood today:)
well, also-too, thanks, you betcha!
Becarefu; about democracy dad You know how easily it can de-evolve in to far less plesent forms of government. It is plain to see that this is the equiqilant to ceran wrap on the toilet bowl A good practical joke for any occasion. In this instance if you have some one that likes to hose down their ceiling fixtures to keep them clean the glass covering might protect them. But the big joke comes when some poor fool hoses down this one fixture and grounds him or her self. It's sort of like pissing on an electric fence no? even if this is not right I propose that I be elevated to supreme commander in Dad's experiment in democracy. let's see how long it will last.
In order to have some semblance of "fairness" to my judging I have not left the judging to merely "chance" and have installed a "laugh meter." Pretty simple really---the comment that moves the laugh meter needle the most moves up the pile---even with all the spelling errors. Gotta say the laugh meter moved Klee to the top of the pile---you all better get busy to prevent the appearance of "nepotism":)
I knew I forgot the spell check (I might have borrowed one of my dad's senior molments). Did you know that just about all of my messages look like this before I spell check. Don't be fooled I am quite possibly the worlds worst speller. I personally blame my early exposure to spell check and Nutzy (For no good reason other than because I can).
Klee, you have nothing to worry about, here is a recent private email I got from Nutsy.
Deer Mrster Cholze,
Dunt yoo tink yoo go a liddle oberboard wth all yor talk of eatinge me?
Knutzie
Oh geez, this is going to get the missus in trouble. You see, one morning after the husband left to work (so he claimed) the missus decided to get that lying cheating ba$3^rd on tape. After unplugging the old love lighting (huh, much good did that do! -that was a wasted purchase from the lov shack catalogue) from the "outlet" the missus put in a recorder. The missus clever that she is, "masked" the opening with a skeeter netting. The husband had been complaining about skeeters in the bedroom. And when that skum hubby asked about the pins, missus casually explained that she needed to make sure those suckers didn't sneak through the cracks! And she said she broke the love lighting when she was cleaning! ~Rita (FUN)
This screen is in stead of a air conditioning filter. Just a guess. I like your emocons....of course I clicked on the last one and got the "even this one", cute and creative...I like it.
Rita, this is Raven, the boss is out playing soccer in the rain at 40 degrees (shows how smart he is). So while he is away I am moving you to the top of the "Feel good inside" pile---looks like Klee will have to put his thinking cap on again.
Jane, did you check out mine too?
Charles, I saw one of these the other day up in the sky. It's a UFO!
Charles - I do feel good inside LOL. Where is the boss now? BTW like your feathers :) ~Rita
Gosh I knew I should never left that dang crow in my office! I finally have the keyboard cleaned off enought to respond.
Lizette, OK-----they have meds for that you know:)
Rita, Raven made a pretty good choice while I was away:)
Mr Pud Thai,
I would never write anything as illiterate as that attempt by your father to discredit me.
Nutsy
Steven- Charles! Settle down, it is obvious that this is a Plot to cause division in our ranks. While others in our peer group have been patriotically doing their duty to promote free speech, entertain the masses with need to know bits of knowledge and offering encouragement to meet and surpass goals- you two have been playing a sick game of mind control and confusing the issue-ness. Shame on you keeping unsuspecting readers up half the night participating in your silly contests.
I am ON to you both!
No one would really rig a ceiling plug in such a way unless they wanted attention and a feature blog spot. What else could it be?
be good cheryl(you heard it here first)willis
I think that is the plug in for an electric sex swing which obviously the owners don't want to leave up all the time because they don't want there children who live at home to see it. The wire mesh is there so when they are in their dominatrix masks they can easily find where the plug goes for quick attachment.
Ted
Cheryl W, "confusing the issue-ness" seems like a very worthy goal:)
Ted, very funny----got a picture of this device?:)
Upon closer inspection I am realizing that There is a simple explanation.
It is an attempt to rub in Nutzy's face the fact that Squirrels don't have opposible thumbs (it one of the many things that makes them inferior to humans (I don't know how he can dress himself in those fancy outfits but in reality I think we all know that Steve enjoys dressing him up every so often)). The screen is up there because it is thin enough to tack down with thumb tacks but if you need to get in there real quick to... oh I don't know... see which one of the kids can play pin tail on the donkey but you know stick a fork in the outlet instead (and don't any of you try to pretend that you never used to throw the occasional utensil in to the ceiling).
Anyway the explanation is thumb tacks are easy to push through that filter thingy and your common vole, mole, or rat doesn't have the girth to force all of the thumb tacks down. (this is a situation where 4 thumb tacks just wont do the job).
Awe snikkies!!! (this is my new word), phonetic spelling (snikeys). This screen is used to keep pesky bee's out of the living room area. They couldn't get to the nest and it's took expensive to hire an exterminate so this was the cheapest alternative. Hey dad remember when we construction adhesived those bees into the stone garage wall you could hear the whole wall buzzing. I'll bet some one will be shocked and horrified when they open that wall up to find 5-6 hundred bee remains. I am so right it hurts some times...
Klee can now join Rita on top of the "feel good inside pile"----I just can't choose. Someone else better chime in here as to which one should occupy the top of the pile alone. Honestly trashing Nutsy gets high marks---what can I say:) Of course if either Rita or Klee want to come in and embellish there stories into a "winner" that would work too.
Klee---this BEE what you are talking about?
well.... my first thought was a plug for the christmas tree lights...but someone beat me to that. {heavy sigh} sooooo I went back and looked at it some more. perhaps the disco ball used to hang there, and they didn't want to totally cover it up just in case they got in the mood to do the hustle again! They thought about using staples, but that would be 'too permanent', hence the push pins!
Kara, I can visualize you at the disco:)
Ok - I gave it some thought overnight. These people are thieves. Stealing electric from the neighbors. That cord is coming from the neighbors house - and since they are friends with the neighbors they try to hide it when they come over for poker night. That is the only night of the week that they actually use their own electricity. Did you find a bunch of extension cords in the closet Charles?
Clueless but I am dying to know. You come up with the strangest pics and stories! HAHA
which room in the house is this Charles?
oh - and what is the ceiling height in this room?
Kara---now there is the Kara I was looking for:) This is a basement "illegal" bedroom-----7' ceiling height.
Leesa----do you really think I have a clue?:)
Now I know... this is the room where "Seven of Nine" goes to regenerate. Since Star Trek Voyager is no longer on the airwaves, she cannot afford her ritzy stateroom on the Voyager, and the Four Seasons doesn't accept "Borg" half-breeds (Tertiary adjuncts of Uni-matrix zero-one), she's found herself "living" in a basement bedroom... her regeneration power cord, pops out of her handsome hairline, and plugs directly into the ceiling power source... flowing directly THROUGH the anti-borg mesh, and unidirectional radar pins, designed to detect intruders while "cloaked".
Seven of Nine, as you know, regenerates while standing up, so the seven foot height is perfect.
Resistance is futile.
OK alan----you are officially moved to the top of the pile:) She has a nicer beak than Raven!
yes, she has a lovely beak.... er... face... um... (are we talkin' about a body part here?)
did someone say "body part"?
Alan, I have heard about putting lipstick on a pig but I think it looks better on a beauty like Raven.
7' ceilings - illegal basement. hmmm. maybe they are using this 'illegal' room as a greenhouse and that is where they plug in the heat lamps and self-watering rainfall system. They knew you were coming so they covered it up real quick, lol.
Kara, is a "self watering rainfall system" a "shower?"
only if it's the right answer Charles, lol. is anyone even warm yet?
"Mugsy" says it looks like a recessed can light fixture that is missing the trim ring and lens cover. It probably also had a water leak or condensing around the light fixture hole, so some rocket scientist tacked up some mesh screen with thumb tacks, so they could spray around the hole where the stain was with stain masking paint. At some point during all of this the rocket scientist also installed a screw-in plug receptacle, so he could plug in his shop vac, and vac the whole room without moving the plug to another outlet.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Kara, when I started this I really didn't care how it got to be this way---just wanted to see how "creative" people could be with their own reasons.
That said, Kevin's hairy assistant is correct for the most part:)----the can-light part.
That said, Kevin's hairy assistant is correct for the most part:)----the can-light part.
Don't kill my "buzz" Charles...
Alan, please delete my comment to Kevin from your mind:) love the modifications to Raven:)
Charles, I can't help it... it's burned into the grey matter of my mind... especially the "hairy assistant" part (shudder). Glad you like Raven, with her new Louis Vitton bag.
I think Raven deserves a Prada bag!
Kara, I must confess I haven't carried a hand bag in years so you may have to tell me the difference between the two---perhaps Raven will know the distinction:)
Maybe a nice Dooney & Bourke, or are those passé?
Alan perhaps we could make a silk purse out of sows ear for her:)
Very ODD... looks like an old can light that has an outlet wired up inside of it or a light socket screw in outlet. For the life of me I can't imagine why they push-pinned a piece of mesh on top of it! It seems that they spray painted the ceiling after the screen was installed, but screen isn't a very good paint barrier.
That's all I've got, I can't imagine what the actual purpose of it all really is. Please enlighten us Charles.
Cheryl, unfortunately---as the title suggests-----I am as clueless as everyone else. Now that everyone has given it a shot----perhaps I will make up a story to go with it:)