It is 1:04am.
I am in the middle of a great crawl space dream. I have my respirator, my goggles and my full-body condom on----and all is well in my dark, low and womb-like world. All of a sudden there is this ringing sound-----it is my cell phone. I always bring my cell phone into the crawl space, but as I am scrambling to find it I realize I am out of bed and digging it out of the pile of clothes on the floor next to the bed (the pile my sweetie affectionately refers to as the "carpet" on my side of the bed)----I'm not in the crawl space at all.
I look at the flip-phone screen.
It is my daughter's smiling face.
Oh, oh,---this ought to be good.
I half expected it to be another one of her great calls like the time she and her friends wanted to know how many chickens would fit inside a cow. I LOVE questions like that----well, maybe not at 1:am but.....
.....instead, she told me that one of the wall receptacles was making a "hissing" sound---and it was keeping her awake.
She held the phone up to it.
It was REALLY loud and was indeed hissing. By now I was fully awake----definitely not in the crawl space anymore. I ran through a couple of scenarios with her and ended up with: "does it feel warm?" "No," was her answer. I said, "Well then go back to bed ----and call me in the morning,"----what any good doctor/inspector would advise I think.
I called 
her in the morning and she answered: "I'm still alive!"
We talked some more about the many new possibilities I had come up with during the night----as I lay sleepless in bed after her call. I had pretty much concluded that it was highly unlikely that it was anything electrical, even given that the sound appeared to be coming from the outlet. I recommended that she take some pictures around the house outside to see if that would help us figure out the mystery. In the process, she discovered that there was a leak in the area of the hissing sound, and water was flooding down the foundation. By the looks of the picture it had been leaking for quite some time----and perhaps had finally completely broken so that it could be heard.
Time to call the landlord----
----perhaps he also knows how many chickens fit inside a cow.
Charles Buell
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Charles, I hate those strange sounds in a home or apartment. We have squirrels running on our roof and I swear they are in the attic. But I've checked, and they are just on the roof.
I was really hoping for an answer to the question of how many chickens fit inside a cow. I guess I'll have to wait for a future post to get that answer.
Hahaha... what an interesting blog! Thanks for sharing!
Have a great week!
I love this post - So, how many chickens DO fit inside a cow??? Wait - do cows eat chicken?
Gary, are you SURE you don't have bats in your belfry too:)
Hope, you can always hold out hope:)
Justin & Katin, glad you found it interesting----thanks for stopping by
Carol, a burning question that EVERYONE wants to know----guess you will have to stay tuned:) I am hoping the "Chicken catcher" herself will chime in.
Good thing it wasn't coming from inside the electrical outlet. When I use to do my monthly insoections at my apartments, I use to dread the "hissing" noise because it was a sign water was escaping from the pipes behind the wall. One of my apartment building had copper pipes which would develop pin size holes for no reason. Usually one hole every three months.
Sean Allen
Sean, I will be interested in hearing more about what the actual leak was myself. Too bad your leaks were "monthly" you could have at least used it as a reminder to turn your calendar to the next month:)
Hi Charlie--how far away does this daughter live? I think I'll give my daughter your phone number!
Hi Leslie---good to see you playing in the rain again. My daughter lives in California----Monterey. Just tell you daughter to call before 1:am unless she is looking to be blog fodder:)
With daughters or sons, sometimes the dad is the landlord! That must not be the case here. Lucky you!! Fun blog.
Barbara----somewhat true----my kids are all pretty independent though. I have said it before but I won the lottery with all of my kids!
I would like to "weigh in" (hehehe) on this chicken/cow question. You all seem so curious about it after all... Here we go... First of all there are alot of variables when it comes to the cow. what type? what age? after searching exhaustively (about 15 seconds) I've found a range between 1000 to 1400lbs so 1,200 sounds good to me. We should be talking volume but until we find a big old Olympic sized tub to drop a cow into (remember high school physics everyone?) weight will have to suffice. The average weight of a chicken 5 to 7lbs (another 15 seconds) so we'll say 6lbs. divide 1,200 by 6 and you get 200 chickens. Now this may make good sense but it just isnt enough for me Now here's where the science gets harier and scarier if your the ASPCA (so don't try this at home). I would make a cast of the cow (can you say cow mold; aka the old green meat just ain't what it's supposed to be). Now you get some chickens and then a blender then you blend and pour blend and pour. Repeat until the cow mold is full if this number is near the neighborhood of 200 I am happy with it. So long story short 200 chickens fit in a cow if for no other reason than because I said so. Moo Cluck Moo. Klee B. Patel
Well now that we have the definitive answer to the chickens-in-cow question that leaves us no choice but to ask the next question of how many eggs will fit in a cow?----without breaking them of course---and with the shells on.
Charles... I have an inquiring mind. Just how many chickens will fit into a cow?
Chuckie B,
Reminds me of the time a friend called. Water coming through the ceiling, no plumbing fixtures above. Ends up the daughter had a fish bowl in the closet. Got tipped over.
So just how many chickens do fit into a cow?
Michael, read Klee's response above and then move on to my response to him:)
Steve, fish tanks can have small leaks and cause a lot of damage un-noticed.
Dick, better look at my recommendation to Michael above:)
I'm with Hope, how many chicken do fit inside a cow???
Your daughter is a lucky girl to have her dad just a phone call away to ease her fears!
Have a wonderful day!
Nyana - Office Manager, Barbara Kehl Realty
This makes me miss Leener Beaner! This is now my favoriate entry.
Barbara, she may be a lucky girl but I am a lucky dad for sure. My son Klee provided a very detailed answer to the perflexing problem of how many chickens will actually fit in a cow:
I would like to "weigh in" (hehehe) on this chicken/cow question. You all seem so curious about it after all... Here we go... First of all there are alot of variables when it comes to the cow. what type? what age? after searching exhaustively (about 15 seconds) I've found a range between 1000 to 1400lbs so 1,200 sounds good to me. We should be talking volume but until we find a big old Olympic sized tub to drop a cow into (remember high school physics everyone?) weight will have to suffice. The average weight of a chicken 5 to 7lbs (another 15 seconds) so we'll say 6lbs. divide 1,200 by 6 and you get 200 chickens. Now this may make good sense but it just isnt enough for me Now here's where the science gets harier and scarier if your the ASPCA (so don't try this at home). I would make a cast of the cow (can you say cow mold; aka the old green meat just ain't what it's supposed to be). Now you get some chickens and then a blender then you blend and pour blend and pour. Repeat until the cow mold is full if this number is near the neighborhood of 200 I am happy with it. So long story short 200 chickens fit in a cow if for no other reason than because I said so. Moo Cluck Moo. Klee B. Patel
Chrissy, I second that emotion:)
Your son Klee is a funny guy...and clever. I'd never have figured all that out!!
Barbara, perhaps a different feather off the same chicken:)
I thought I had to be a member to comment! I guess not. My landlord sent his son over while I was at work so I wasn't there to find out what the problem actually was--my roommate said they turned the water and electricity off and fixed whatever was going on. I looked under the porch yesterday and the leak is gone, so I guess that's a good thing!
I'm lucky not only to have such a knowledgable dad, but also one that doesn't get angry when I wake him up at 1 am! Also I know I asked that chicken question at least twice (while in college), though I can't remember why it was so important anymore. I think that's about the answer we came up with though Klee!
AHHHH, the chicken catcher responds---awesome. Glad to hear the hissing is gone!
Here I am sitting around scratching my head trying to come up with a plausible blog topic, and then I see Charles up here with 25 comments on how many chickens will fit inside a COW??? Disturbing on so many levels! LOL And to top it off, now I think I am imagining hissing sounds.... wait... it's the cat.
Kevin, I think you have hit it right on the head:) And, the cat is leaking?
PS---are you licensed yet:)
Not yet. But I think I can arrange that cat leaking thing. Here kitty kitty.....
Hey, which came first, the chicken or the... cow?
Chickens into a Cow
Now some of you might not know this but dad grew up on a dairy farm so he might have worked this all out a head of time seeing as how he spend some time around species of the Bovine persuasion. To answer the second question I could onlypresume one pseudo scientific way of figuring it out. First of all, we need to more specifics Male or Female cow the reason will soon be come obvious. I will assume male as we are already treading on frightening terrain. I remember I took a trip out to this farm once as a kid. There I saw a man puta plastic bag on his arm and for lack of a better word word went caving up to the upper part of his bicept. What I am getting at is if the pre-requisite is the eggs not breaking you can't put them in the cows mouth you'll startle him and he'll bite downand break the eggs. We will have to find another orifice. Now can we get a difinitive number sure! The method I would use is as follows... Start with one and and keep shoving until you cant fit any more, when you get to about a bakers dozen (13) keep going but give the cow a full 30 seconds to expel one on his own. once the cow expells a single egg it should serve as an indication that you went one egg over! A helpful hint: very very fresh eggs are recommended as the calcium shell will actually be a great deal more difficult to break. I think that this is considerably more humane than the chicken/cow hypothesis. I guess sex of the cow doesn't make a difference after all! If you wanted to get really scientific about it you can repeat this process with a bigger sample and get a definitive average. Now that I have thoroughly scared everyone away from this blog and possibly upset the good people at active rain with the content I should probably stop this post before it continues to degrades into something worse than it already is. I just can't help my senseless addiction to problem solving. Hope this helps dad, just remember you were the one that asked. Klee B. Patel
I'm with Kevin on this, how does this happen Charles? You got AR groupies I think.
Klee, I think you have out done yourself!
David, it is good to have groupies isn't it?
I can only shake my head and say "holy cow".
Hey... if we shake the cow, we can have scrambled eggs & milkshakes for breakfast.
Chuckie B,
So you were raised on a dairy farm. Now that explains an awful lot.
Kevin, by now I am starting to feel sorry for the poor cow.
Steve, yup---kicked in the head maybe once too often:)
Charlie, You're a better inspector (and more confident dad) than I'll ever be. Thanks for sharing this!!!
Brandon, thanks, and I have absolutely no doubt that you will do just fine:)
I enjoyed this story! It's wonderful that she knows she can call you.... even at 1am! Sounds like you are a wonderful father!!!
Hi Stephanie, thanks for bringing the chicken back to life:) I would like to think all my kids feel free to call me whenever----and I am sure they all have more than once:)
A leak?! And I was thinking TPR outlet.
Jay, TPR would have been a good guess----bad solder joint apparently.
Charles - Strange, very strange, but funny. Can we then extend the findings to discover cows in an elephant and the elephants in a whale?
Jack
Jack---most certainly---can't see why not:)
Charles - that was a joke... TPR "outlet?" As if that outlet was releasing pent-up pressure for the entire electrical system in the house. Sorry... my silliness coming through.
how many chickens fit inside of a cow?
Man---this chicken sure has grown legs!
Jay---you got me----pretty funny:)
Alan, your guess is as good as mine:)
Does anyone know what all these blank comments are all about?
11/29/2008 10:10 AM
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Pretty strange but very entertaining...nice job! thanks!
Thanks Mara, thanks to the "Mysterious" Blank Poster---the old chicken keep flying back down the blog roll. Glad you caught it:)
I like the chicken theory. Someone, please tell me how many people fit inside a whale. My son asked me, and after laughing hysterically, I told him I would see what I could do. Anyone know??? Anyone??
Shonna, well, if you take the "average" weight of all of the different types of whales and assume a weight of 50 tons and divide that by the average weight of all the different extremes of human beings (adult men and women)at 200 lbs, you would end up with somewhere around 450. Hopefully he doesn't want to know about the open spaces inside a whale:)
Daddy to the rescue!! Don't you love it that your daughter still relies on you? I call my dad all the time. Makes him feel good to be needed!
Sandy, that is me. I kind of like it:)
My daddy could not figure out my well problem this week. (Cloudy water) But then he couldn't see it over the phone, but we had heavy rains and it's all clear again now... and I'm still alive too.
I have a better question: How many more times will this blog re-surface??
Tammy thanks for bringing this back to life----I know just how much it bugs Kevin:)
Kevin, this thing sure grew some chicken legs didn't it?