I know you don’t think I am minding my own business when I chew on things.
But I really am.
I really don’t understand how you can criticize me when you let the dog chew on everything in sight. Sure, you might scold him, but in the end you will pet him on the head and scratch him under his chin. I just don't get it.
Nobody even wants to pet me on the head. I know some of my hybridized cousins have “crossed over,” but that is another whole story.
And don’t get me started about the cat.
The other night I saw what she did to the door jamb and the end of the couch.
I can see by the look on your face that you want to know how I know this?
Well, if I answered that, I would no longer be able to eat the dog’s left over’s, eat the cat’s left over’s or get into Jonnies candy hid in the shoe in the back of his closet.
Suffice it to say I have means---if you know what I mean by means.
Please keep in mind that I HAVE to chew on things. If I don’t chew on things my teeth can actually grow to the point that I could not eat and I might die. I really don’t think that Fido and Fur Ball are going to die if they stop chewing on things. Life just plain isn't that fair.
Anyway, that is why the wiring in your attic looks the way it does. And if you are going to provide me with something to chew on that gives me a slight buzz at the same time---I am going for it.
After all, you light up my life!
Charles Buell, Real Estate Inspections in Seattle
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WA State, Home Inspector Advisory Licensing Board