Seattle Home Inspector's Blog

     Far across the road……..

 …….over the stone wall and under the Rose Bush, there lives a group of beings with powers equaled only by humans.  One could argue that both they and humans are competing for the low rung on the ladder, as far as mammals go, but I will leave that for you to decide.  There is plenty of hard evidence to support both positions----and I have not yet made up my own mind.  I am leaning toward the Rose Bush however. 

     While we may have never been promised a rose garden-----wouldn’t it be nice to at least “smell” a rose now and then?

     The following conversation occurred between Nicodemus and Mrs. Brisby beneath the Rose Bush one romantic night----under a bright, full, Harvest Moon. 

     Once in a “Blue Moon” so to speak.

“Where have you been Nicodemus,” asked Mrs. Brisby, “I haven’t seen you under the old Rose Bush recently?”

“I have got the COOLEST new digs,” said Nicodemus, “Or perhaps I should say the ‘WARMEST’ new digs,” he added.

“Where is it,” asked Mrs. Brisby curiously.

“Well, do you know that underground tunnel, over by the ramp that floods with water whenever it rains----you know----from the pipe that comes out of the sky,” asked Nicodemus?

“Sure----I've run by it lots of times----but it never occurred to me to go in it-----one could drown,” said Mrs. Brisby with a worried look in her beady little eyes.

“If you follow the tunnel to where it bends to the North----bends again to the East----then bends back to the North; and then----if you go upwards at the first ‘T’ intersection, you enter a marvelous place never frequented by humans,” said Nicodemus.

“You can’t be serious----never,” questioned Mrs. Brisby doubtfully?

“Well, certainly VERY seldom----I have never seen any in over a year,” said Nicodemus, “Come on----I’ll show you.”

“ONLY if you have sunflower seeds,” Mrs. Brisby teased him.

“You know I do,” said Nicodemus.

     So, off the two went down the downspout drain, around the first bend in the footing drain, around two more bends, and then past the wooden stick and up into the crawl space at the unused downspout location.

“WOW!!! This is so cool,” exclaimed Mrs. Brisby, as she hopped off the pipe and into the cavernous space.  An ocean of black slippery plastic spread out before her like an ocean of black slippery plastic.

“Come on-----I’ll show you my pad----and my heated bed,” winked Nicodemus. 

     As the two scampered across the plastic, their claws made little scratching sounds like rice being walked on at a wedding.

     Mrs. Brisby was thinking to herself that for-sure Nicodemus must be “nibbling BAD cheese”----who ever heard of a “heated bed?”  But, sure enough, there it was----Nicodemus’s heated bed----complete with nice white sheets----covering that gritty nasty yellow stuff that takes days to lick out of one’s fur----way nastier than sex in the sandbox or at the beach.

“Want to spend the night,” asked Nicodemus----his whiskers twitching seductively?

     He didn’t have to ask Mrs. Brisby twice-----after all----it had been a long time since the last Blue Moon.

Charles Buell, Seattle Home Inspector