With Facebook, Twitter, ActiveRain----and, “The Little Search Engines That Could,” it has become increasingly common (dang easy) to reconnect with people from our past---from seemingly “pre-historic” times even. These reconnections always bring up questions of protocol as well as questions regarding necessity and Now for those of you that are under 50, I am not talking about someone you knew 20 years ago. Those people are still part of your current framework (as hard to believe as that may seem). I am directing these questions primarily to those of you that are over the legal speed limit (those currently having enough senior moments to seriously question whether you actually ever did know these people). It is about the people that you could have had, or did have, significant relationships with 35 to 45 years ago----people you might have even been married too ----not people you went to kindergarten with. How do you handle these reconnections? How does your current relationship handle these reconnections? Here is a typical scenario. One day you get the following Facebook email: “Hey----are you the Charlie Buell from Oswego, 1968?” How do you reply? “Yes.” THEN what do you say? “Uhhhhhhh……do I know you? But let’s say that it IS someone you remember----in fact it is one of those people you have been wondering, for the last 41 years, what the heck happened to them. How do you reply to this type of reconnection? Do you reply with a long winded epic-chronicle of every detail in your life----or merely the “obituary” version? Perhaps we need to all crank out a tome of our past that we can copy and paste for such occasions. Then again, perhaps the obit-version is sufficient until we see if the reconnection is going anywhere or not. The reality is that we left these people of our past----IN the past----for reasons that fit at the time (in some cases out of stupidity, sometimes through no choice of our own, more often because it was the right thing to do at the time)----yet aren’t we all still a bit curious anyway? And above all---isn’t it just plain interesting and fun? Charles Buell
appropriateness. Old girlfriends (or boyfriends as the case might be). Former classmates. People that at one time we were very close to---or even people we only sort of knew way-back-when. Some of these people seem to remember us WAY better than we remember them----leaving one with that Twilight Zone feeling.
Seattle Home Inspectors, ASHI Home Inspector, Structural Pest Inspector, Charles Buell Inspections Inc, Seattle, WA
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It is nice to reconnect, but you are right to the fact they are in the past. Friends are a life long travel, some forever, some for a moment, it is all what we embrace
It is interesting and fun, however, I've always wondered about giving the epic-chronicle of one's life to date. (I LOL at your terminology "obit version") Instead of a tome, perhaps a little newsletter update on PDF to attach to a response? Even so, I do think that this is such a great way to keep up with friends & family, since email time is at a premium.
Kim, I have friends I met in college---room mates----that seem to go in and out of my life over the years as well.
Susan, it certainly does bring up some interesting questions.
Charles, I am very careful when I become in contact with these people. You might have known these people for 3 years in high school but after 30 more years, people change, some aren't even on parole yet =)
The way I see it,
Paul
Paul, very good point! LOL
You associate with real people in real time- now there's a social networking activity that needs to be blogged about. I love getting to re-visit the past as long as they don't bring up anything I tried to bury. cw
Cheryl, too true----we really don't need to hear some of those skeletons clanking do we!
Hasn't happened to me yet. Perhaps it's because people from my far distant past knew me by my maiden name, or perhaps they just don't recognize the blonde who stole the countenance of the brunette they once knew. :-)
Charlie - I find that connectring with people from the past is sometimes fun but at the same time a little creepy. I always think others will be wierded out by my sudden contact after so much time has gone by. However, just this week I am in my hometown and due to my facebook being updated regularly some of the people from my past who I have friended on FB have actually reached out to me. One is an old highs school friend who is now a Florida Realtor and is in town visiting too and the other is a friend from my early 20's who I lost touch with when I moved away in my mid-20s. I am very nervous about plans to get together.
Geri, true name changes can complicate things:)
Carol, part of the problem is that even though we may have seen recent pictures of the person, we still see them in our minds the way they were when they were 20----and with the same emotional baggage if there was any:)
Charles ~ personally I would go with the obit version to see if the reconnect is genuine. I am always cautious in regards to those who want to reconnect after disconnecting from them in the past.
Jan, probably a good idea to be cautious----as Paul said---we never know how long they have been out of jail:)
I'm sure I have no idea of what you speak. Pre-historic? Over the speed limit? But I WAS wondering if you were the Charles Buell I once knew who... :) Kate
I'm not much into FB, but have found or been found by people from my past. I don't see a need to get into all the catching up unless the friendship begins going some where.
Kate---probably some other guy---I don't think that I am that guy I used to be:)
James, it is interesting----for most of us we pretty much fill up our lives with the current people in our lives---bringing others in is a challenge sometimes----the right things have to click:)
Sounds as if you're into Facebook. I am on it but not "into" it. I can't find the time to do all the catching up and checking on what they are doing "right now." It is great for social gadfly types.
Barbara is right. It takes a lot of time to move things and people around to reconnect. I went into the military back (prehistoric) during a stressful time to be in the military. When I got out the times were different and the people were different. Things change and people along with them. For one reason or another, in most cases, I would rather just remember them the way they were.
Barbara, I am anything but into it----I just used it as an example of some of the ways that it has gotten easier to track people down or be tracked down. I have two accounts one that my blog updates to everyday----actually they both do---for business and then a personal one for family picture exchanges etc.
Jack, I hear you---sometimes the memory is better than the real thing. I have made some re-connections that have been interesting though.
Mr Charles,
Knowing you as I do, I suspect that when they contact you -- if the female type -- you send them your famous naked inspector photos. Is that correct?
Nutsy is investigating
Nutsy, I have no idea what you are talking about:)
I think it's all good - it's just a matter of being to open
Hi Charlie, I went to West Woodland Grade School in Seattle and we had the same kids in the class from 1st thru 6th grade. We got split up when we went into Junior High. I would love to have a reunion with them.
Janice I think so too.
Leslie, it would be interesting----no one would recognize anyone for sure:)
And the significance of the roses is:
1. Stop and smell them while they are still around...
2. A rose by any other name smells just as sweet now as it did then...
3. Somebody rose from the dead?...
4. ________________________________________ (Fill in the blank)
#4. Move your cursor over the pictures---but no cursing.:)
You weren't really talking about me Charles, I'm a bit younger than 50. But I recently ran into a girl who moved away after grade school and before high school on face book. It had been 30 years. I still remember her phone number... when she lived her a long time ago. And we kept in touch for a few years, but we both married, moved, divorced, moved and just lost touch, so I get a bit of what you are talking about and I keep poking my mom toward facebook, but she's chicken.
Yes, those people my age and older really do have a lot of resistance to facebook. I think for families facebook is a great way to share pictures and keep everyone up to date---especially when the family starts to scatter all over the globe.
I saw that before. Past, now present...