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Why gun fighters died young!

     “Jesse, is that you out there?”

     “It’s me Doc-----open up.”

The sounds of cumbersome door-bolts could be heard.

Doc's House     “Come on in Jesse----where’s your brother and the rest of the gang?”

     “Doc, if I told you that I would have to kill you,” Jesse joked.  “They’re holed up outside of town probably sitting around the campfire laughing their asses off about now.”

     “Why----what's so funny?” chuckled Doc.

     “Because of my damn hand,” whines Jesse.

     “What is wrong with your hand?”

     “Well----that is why I came to see you----it ain’t working right.  The other day I tried to draw my gun and it just fell on the floor----nearly got me killed----not to mention shooting off part of my boot.  Can you help me?  What do you think is wrong with it Doc.”

     Doc looked down at Jesse’s damaged boot and cracked a half smile.

     “Looks like you got lucky there Jesse.”

     Doc took Jesse’s hand and rotated it at the wrist----he did some standard resistance testing and then gave Jesse his hand back.

     “Well Doc?”

     “Looks like Carpel Tunnel to me.”

     “What the heck is that?  Carpets?  Tunnels?  Doc, you been drinkin’ again?”

Cactus     “Seriously, I think it’s Carpel Tunnel----it’s when the nerves in the wrist get restricted due to inflammation and it keeps your hand from working right----along with being very painful.  Very common in jobs that have a lot of repetitive motion----you know----like doing the same thing over and over again,” explained Doc.  “When you go jerking a 2-1/2 bound hunk of steel out of your holster repetitively and go wavin’ it around----its bound to injure something sooner or later.  Experts say that the condition has a lot to do with genetics and other conditions.  The repetitive-motion component is really secondary to underlying causes that are not clearly understood yet.”

     Jesse gave Doc a look that was clearly questioning whether Doc was sober or had lost his mind.

     “Doc, you gotta be kidding me-----I gotta be able to use my hand----and what the heck are Gen Ticks?”Riding into the night

     Jə-‘net-iks,” Doc pronounced, “----let me see,” Doc paused for a moment,”-----did you ever notice that when you breed a Pomeranian with a Samoyed that the puppies end of looking like a Sameranians?

     “Uhhh----not sure I follow you there Doc.”

     “Did you ever think of maybe entering a different line of work?” asked Doc.

     “Like what----this is all I know----and who is gonna take care of my brothers?

     “Well----you know----there are government programs to retrain people to do other jobs, don’t you?”

     Jesse was pretty sure now that Doc had lost his mind, AND had been drinking.

     “Doc, at the last post office I was in, I noticed that the ‘government’ is likely to be more interested in ‘restraining’ me than in ‘retraining’ me,” Jesse joked.

     “You have a point there Jesse,” Doc said with a chuckle.  “I know it is probably hard for you to find the time, but there are some exercises you can do that might help, and you might want to find a gun that is a little more ergonomic.  Some experts believe that a diet high in Omega-3 Fatty Acids can help----so cutting down on the free-range beef and switching to more salmon and fresh vegetables may alleviate some of the symptoms.”

     “So now you expect me to drag a cook along on the trail----and move to Seattle?”

     All of this was proof to Jesse that Doc was crazy, had been doing snuff, AND had been drinking.  He was equally sure at this point that Doc was NOT going to be able to help him very much.

     Jesse was feeling a little depressed and desperate after seeing Doc.  The doctor, realizing that Jesse was not about to take his advice, gave him some laudanum and sent him on his way. 

     “Say howdy to the rest of the gang----and good luck with that hand,” Doc yelled after him. 

     Jesse rode off into the night.

     The rest is history.

Rose in the Fog

Charles Buell

 

Seattle Home Inspectors, ASHI Home Inspector, Structural Pest Inspector, Charles Buell Inspections Inc, Seattle, WA

 

 

 

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Comment balloon 27 commentsCharles Buell • August 21 2009 09:08AM

Comments

Mr Charles,

Despite your recent assault I will make a meaningful comment to your little story. I suppose that could happen but the main reason for gunfighters to lose their lives was age and failing eye sight. Carpal Tunnel was something they never got unless it was from hoisting beers.

Nutsy

Posted by Steven L. Smith, Bellingham WA Home Inspector (King of the House Home Inspection, Inc.) over 9 years ago

That too Nutsy:)

Posted by Charles Buell, Seattle Home Inspector (Charles Buell Inspections Inc.) over 9 years ago

Charles, and I thought that only flute players and other musicians got bad carpel tunnel!  What do I know?

Posted by Patricia Kennedy, Home in the Capital (RLAH Real Estate) over 9 years ago

Never thought about gunslingers wrist.  Could have been a real problem.

Posted by Jack Gilleland (Home Inspection and Investor Services, Clayton) over 9 years ago

Change can be an awesome thing for those who can go along and adapt orterrible for those who can't or won't. Either way, it can't really be stopped, can it?

Posted by Suesan Jenifer Therriault, "Inspecting every purchase as if it were my own". (JTHIS-Professional Home Inspection Team) over 9 years ago

Pat, it seems to affect a lot of people, even those that you would not suspect due to the type of jobs they have.

We have one of those old colts when I was a kid and I can remember what impressed me the most about it was how incredibly heavy it was.  Nothing like my Lone Ranger six guns:)

Suesan, what----Jesse, Doc getting drunk, or carpel tunnel?:)

Posted by Charles Buell, Seattle Home Inspector (Charles Buell Inspections Inc.) over 9 years ago

Jesse bought it hanging a picture.  Due to carpel tunnel or laudanum?

Oh, and don't hope to get retrained by the gubment...  although ACORN might be a good place for Jesse.

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) over 9 years ago

I used to have problems with carpal tunnel when I use a hammer a lot. My arms would go numb, it was miserable. Once I began inspecting it all went away. A doctor friend says that is a big problem with the surgery. People go back to doing what they did and the same thing happens again. I am glad that just changing what I do resolved the problem. Now I can do a weekend project, no trouble. But I bet if I spent a week building a deck or something that the problem would come back.

Posted by Steven L. Smith, Bellingham WA Home Inspector (King of the House Home Inspection, Inc.) over 9 years ago

Geez Charlie you know how to take the glamor out of the gunslinger legend. :)

Posted by James Quarello, Connecticut Home Inspector (JRV Home Inspection Services, LLC) over 9 years ago

Jay, hard to say

Steve, a lot of people have it me thinks

James, I do my best:)

Posted by Charles Buell, Seattle Home Inspector (Charles Buell Inspections Inc.) over 9 years ago

Gunslinger wrist, huh.  Sounds like a fatal disease to me.

I'd rather have Tennis Elbow or something else that ain't quite so fatal.

Quite an imagination you got there Charlie!

 

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Posted by Erby Crofutt, The Central Kentucky Home Inspector, Lexington KY (B4 U Close Home Inspections&Radon Testing (www.b4uclose.com)) over 9 years ago

Starbucks employed two of our daughters during college. They both got carpal tunnel from slinging the barista equipment. There were so many complaints from the kids working there that the espresso machines became more automated.

I suppose Nutsy now will claim he has worked at SBs and has carpal tunnel syndrome just for attention.

Posted by Kate Kate over 9 years ago

Erby, yes, gunfighters and carpal tune would be quite a mess:)

Kate, I hear he is writing a post called "Why Squirrels Die Young."  Something about screeching tires and roads carpeted with fur---or something like that.

Posted by Charles Buell, Seattle Home Inspector (Charles Buell Inspections Inc.) over 9 years ago

Oh no! Boss has been in my garage! Kate

Posted by Kate Kate over 9 years ago

OK---you have lost me this time:)

Posted by Charles Buell, Seattle Home Inspector (Charles Buell Inspections Inc.) over 9 years ago

That's a creative story.  I must admit I read right on to the bloody end.

Posted by Barbara S. Duncan, GRI, e-PRO, Executive Broker, Searcy AR (RE/MAX Advantage) over 9 years ago

Barbara---sure beats stories about Nutsy doesn't it?

Posted by Charles Buell, Seattle Home Inspector (Charles Buell Inspections Inc.) over 9 years ago

Mrs Kate,

Nutsy does not have carpet tunneling sindrome. I am just fine and can still swing from trees and vamp the girls such as yourself with my dashing good looks and good luck.

Nutsy

Posted by Steven L. Smith, Bellingham WA Home Inspector (King of the House Home Inspection, Inc.) over 9 years ago

Nutsy that looks more like you dressed in pink than the mannequin with the gun does.

Posted by Charles Buell, Seattle Home Inspector (Charles Buell Inspections Inc.) over 9 years ago

Fur on my car tires [in my GARAGE] is pink. Kate (and if I have to explain this one I quit)

Posted by Kate Kate over 9 years ago

Mrs Kate,

Could you please explain what you mean by the comment above. Thanks in advance.

Nutsy S. Wallenda

Posted by Steven L. Smith, Bellingham WA Home Inspector (King of the House Home Inspection, Inc.) over 9 years ago

No

Posted by Kate Kate over 9 years ago

Kate, excellent answer:)

Posted by Charles Buell, Seattle Home Inspector (Charles Buell Inspections Inc.) over 9 years ago

Mr Charles,

I have talked to a judge about suing you for implying that I have carpet tunneling sindrome. That could negatively impact my income stream so you would pay for that. I am sure the judge will support what is fair.

Nutsy

Posted by Steven L. Smith, Bellingham WA Home Inspector (King of the House Home Inspection, Inc.) over 9 years ago

"Failures who strike a victim's pose are never successful." Ms Kate of Wise Sayings R Us

 

Posted by Kate Kate over 9 years ago

Nutsy, it is probably going to interfere with your pee stream too

Kate, well said. Charlie from "Wish-I-Had-Said-It-R-Us."

Posted by Charles Buell, Seattle Home Inspector (Charles Buell Inspections Inc.) over 9 years ago

I resent all of this. I have taken a few spills but I have no, zero, dents. I have no dents.

Nutsy

Posted by Steven L. Smith, Bellingham WA Home Inspector (King of the House Home Inspection, Inc.) over 9 years ago

Participate