One of home inspector’s favorite conversations with other inspectors is how quick they can do an inspection----and conversely how long they sometimes take. While I (and hopefully others) would never sacrifice “quality” while considering “speed,” we still like to remark on an inspection that is exceptionally short due to there being very few defects or because the house is very small----or one that takes an extremely long amount of time because of its size or its horrible condition. It is not uncommon for a very small condo to take 1-1/2 to 2 hours. I have taken as long as 9 hours on a property with two houses. The other day I inspected a house in “5” MINUTES. Yup----the whole thing---ALL 9 sq ft. Gotta love slab on grade houses. I elected to neither walk NOR ride this roof. The biggest defect was that Snow White was nowhere to be seen even though I had previously seen some of the dwarfs in the garage apparently preparing to mow the lawn. Where the heck was Snow White anyway? It was such a nice sunny day----perhaps she went to the mountain. Perhaps the mountain IS Snow White.
Charles Buell
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Click on the Rose to check out: AHA!---A Forum of Landmark Proportions---your Group
PS, for those of you that are new to my blog (or for some other "unexplained" reason have never noticed)all pictures and smiley-face inserts (emoticons) (when I use them) have messages that show up when you point at them with your cursor.
My WORDLESS WEDNESDAY pictures and some selected POEMS & STORIES.
Would it not be awesome to pay untilities oon snow whites house
Thank you for this post Charles. It will be a 'LOL of the Day' which is a new group I started. Taking blogs that make me LOL, or a blog comment that has me busting a gut.
If other AR members decide to joint -- GREAT! I welcome that. And then they can contribute their LOL of the Day.
But, your post really has me LOL'ing!! THANKS!!
http://activerain.com/blogsview/1045783/LOL-of-the-Day-Goes-to-Charles-Buell-Home-Inspector-Who-COULD-NOT-find-his-CLIENT
I think the dwarves were holding out for "mineral rights".
Nannette, they would be like "nil":)
Thanks Carla----I will join your group!
Alan---you mean at Mt Rainier?
She is with Prince Charming, they road off at the end of the story. Don't tell anyone, but I had to ask my Granddaughter.
Did you check the backyard (all 2 square feet?). She may have been planting a flower? Thanks for the laugh
Jack, I prefer to think of her as the mountain:)
Ethan, I suppose I may have missed her there somewhere:)
The story goes "Snow White and the SEVEN Dwarfs". I only see six in your picture! I think Miss White is not as innocent as one is led to believe!!
I just noticed - the garage is much bigger than the house! Why isn't she living in there!? Or maybe it's just the use of lighting, concrete, and wooden shelving that make it look so large!
Dan- Maybe Snow White is out hiding the body of the 7th? I can't wait for the mystery to unfold! I'm sure whatever happened it was an accident (possible accidental mowing over with the lawnmower)? CSI will be knocking on her door soon if they haven't already - looking for those trace bits of porcelain
Ok Charles that was to wild for me, a suspect mystery of the 7th dwarf, a home nome inspection in 5.0 minutes and in the mountains of Mt.Rainer, and babe "Snow White" not to be found nowhere, WOW. LOL
~ Life is Good
Ah yes Ethan, I never thought she was smart enough (being blonde and all) to pull off a scheme to eliminate all seven one by one for the insurance money! As I said before, Miss White is not as innocent as we have been led to believe.
no, under the house... you know they're into diamond mining, right?
Hmmmmm . . . Dan . . . I think you might be "blonde" . . .
You are aware the Snow White is a dark brunette, aren't you??
Dan, you may have hit on the truth of the matter---figures:)
Ethan----must be some sort of Illusion:)
Roy, Snow White rocks
Dan, NO WAY was Snow White a blonde:)
Alan---I checked there.
Carla, thanks for coming in and straigtening out that might confused Dan:)
Charlie - According to Wikepedia - The Queen disguises herself and visits the dwarfs' cottage while they are away during the day, trying to kill Snow White. First, disguised as a peddler, the Queen offers colorful stay-laces and laces Snow White up so tight that she faints, causing the Queen to leave her for dead. Snow White is revived by the dwarfs, however, when they loosen the laces. Next, the Queen dresses as a different old woman and brushes Snow White's hair with a poisoned comb. Snow White again collapses, but again is saved by the dwarfs. Finally, the Queen makes a poisoned apple, and in the disguise of a farmer's wife, offers it to Snow White. When she is hesitant to accept it, the Queen cuts the apple in half, eats the white part and gives the poisoned red part to Snow White. She eats the apple eagerly and immediately falls into a deep stupor. When the dwarfs find her, they cannot revive her, and they place her in a glass coffin, assuming that she is dead.....
....Or, was that the Queen diguised as a home inspector?
Hi Ho, it must've been Saturday. Those dwarfs are workaholics.
Charles and Carla it is obviously a wig!!! Please don't tell me she has pulled the wool over your eyes and you believe everything you see and hear about this girl!
Mr Charles,
No clue where Snow White might be, but Nutsy is suited up and on his way to run your firm over the weekend.
Carol, I am sweating just thinking about all that fainting and undoing of laces:)
James, perhaps
Dan----say it isn't so.
Kate, sorry grandfathered dwarfed
Steve, I sent Nutsy the only ticket he is going to use.
Charles, this is a fun post and group of pics! The dwarfs do look busy looking busy, but are they busy, really? LOL
Debi
Charles, you spent 5 minutes on this Snow White house and you neglected poor Nutsy's house in Arkansas. No inspection at all. sniff......
Thanks Deb
Barbara, I didn't have any time to do the inspection I spent the whole time hanging that dang sign!
Oh, you did do that, didn't you. How could I forget? That little sqirp still hasn't moved in either. He has no gratitude.
Barbara, I even sent him a ticket
Charles, that is one strange ticket! No wonder he hasn't arrived. He is probably wandering around in LONDON? Poor little thing.....I was blaming him for not coming and I now see that you are the Big Bad Wolf still. : (
Mr Charles,
Big problems in the land of Charles. I tried to enter your house last night, through the bathroom window as we agreed. This very mean woman started batting me around with a broom and a fly swatter. I am very offended. She was not around last time I ran your firm.
Nutsy in distress
Nutsy, consider yourself lucky----I left her the shot gun:)
Did you call out the lack of rear fire escape? Windows too small for fire code? Windows that cannot be opened? No roof vent? Guardrails too low? Undersized, leaning front porch post? Front porch that does not slope properly away from the front door? Wood siding not properly separated from concrete? The lack of hurricane straps on the roof rafters? Sill plate not pressure treated and not bolted to the slab? Setback too short?
Geez, that report must have been approaching Hades!
Very kindly,
Croakster